This summer it is gonna be gone
(via jaw-3d)
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I can’t sleep again. I lack the capability to make my head stfu for 30 mins so I can get some downtime. I think of all the possibilities that could have happened and didn’t, all the decisions that went wrong and all the ones that went right, the future consequences of my present/possible actions, etc. It all amazes me, but not always in a good way. Not good for the mind or body. I don’t feel like I’m making any progress in working out (doesn’t help that I skipped a day). Depression feels like it is seeping in causing further lethargy, which in turn leads to further depression and weight gain. I just want to get “there” already and finish it all. As much as I try I can’t help stressing out about it all. There is no reason to be upset over the little bs in my life. I know people have it worse off than me and I preach not to be upset over the little things, but i need to start practicing it. I need to come to the realization that it is what it is and stubborn minds can’t be changed. I want to go away for a summer and experience life. Go skydiving, scuba diving, backpacking, race a car, hike, climb one of the Big 7, snowboard, surf, etc. I have the urge to live, but I can’t do it! I want to come back as a new person. Someone cultured and diversified.
Great music even better atmosphere. So I am chilling there sitting on some steps and this beautiful girl parks next to me. She leaves her bike unattended and leaves to talk to her friend. She walks back towards her bike and going through my mind this entire time was “I’m going to give her a compliment. It’s just a compliment it doesn’t mean much just wanted to tell her. Oh God why can’t I just give her a compliment, I’m not really flirting with her. Just do it.” She leaves. I feel so stupid why can’t I just speak up. W/E more opportunities will come…
